The years that were

My college days are getting over soon, all the things it could have been, and all the things it turned out to be... dishearten me!

• Having no friends with similar interests
• Quizzes, paper presentation, debate, technical/gadget discussions
• etc etc

Things have started to pick up in the last couple of weeks, we have started a LUG in college (the turn out is sad from my class, as expected :P). I seemed to have found the perfect wingman in Srinivas of CSE, but it has come a tad too late in the day(what with college getting over in a couple of months)... All the things that should have been... and all the things it became!! sigh!! :(

Sour grapes?

Dear god,
Sorry I haven't been able to update my diary since many days. You know how busy I am with work, my diary is always at home. I was lying sloshed at my latest woman companion's place for the last two days. I thought at least this one would last for a while, but this morning she kicked me in the nuts and said she could tolerate my hairy ass/flatulence no more, she said even eight graders' are bigger than me. And so my 367th attempt comes to a naught, else I would still be lying at her place, sloshed of course!!


I am sick of having to spend money for this, which means I have to cut down my expenditure on booze and meat. You know how much I hate doing that. Are you angry with me? I know I had promised to come and pray, but those educated bastards chased away the drug peddlers from around the premises. And you very well know I don't go to any place where there is no access to substances :(


I don't know why you never saw this coming, but to ask you to bring back those drug dealers, I will have to come there. Which is impossible as there is no supplies around, you have put me in a deadlock situation! I expected better from you.


BTW know what? almost all my friends are married now. They're getting it for free. The only time I get it for free is when I see those destitute people naked on the streets, I try to get off on it every time, that's like happy hours for me. I have never seen a beautiful girl naked in my life, outside of porn that is. When the cyber cafe owner caught me watching porn, he threw me out saying it's uncool for his cafe to have middle aged balding porn surfers :(


There are those pretty young things all around these days, puttering about doing hmmm... I donno what they do. But they look happy and contented with life. They work in swanky offices, make much more money than I can ever dream of and look very smart and intelligent. Too bad, I can never know such women in my life, not in this lifetime :(


Just the other day somebody was making noises about building houses with bathrooms for the less fortunate. How dare he take away my free sights and sounds? So, I rounded up a bunch of people; got high on cheap whiskey, went to that guy's house and pelted some stones. It was amazing fun... until dysentery kicked in!! :(

Had to go to a doc and show my ass, amazing thing doctors can peep into people's bottoms/privates and get paid for it. I should have listened to my parents and studied something at least when I was younger, maybe I could have been a doctor looking at bare bottoms today :(

Note to self: Never have cheap whiskey ever again!

Speaking of whiskey, that industrialist guy from Bangalore is always with pretty girls. Why should he get to have all the fun? So I rounded up my friends again... but this time they pelted stones at me when I suggested we have cheap whiskey and throw stones at his house in Bangalore! Somebody told me, the industrialist would have whooped my ass if I did anything to his house anyway, thanks a lot you saved me!!


Oh and BTW when I had been to Bangalore I saw a lot of pretty girls in western dresses, I got deeply aroused by just looking at my niece's tops/belts/straps. I ran towards the toilet to gratify myself, in the process my lungi fell off showcasing my assets... everybody laughed at my inadequate equipment :(


From that day I go to the city often, position myself in strategic locations on the streets, Ogle at undergarments of women hung out in the sun and pleasurize myself. I especially liked one particular house... but you are really cruel, I realized later that those garments belonged to a 80 year old lady. Even you played with me?? :(


These frequent visits to the city have drained my pockets badly. And also the time I spend ogling in city has left me with very little time to work. My Boss fired me, also I felt it's better to find employment with a credible pick pocketer's association in the city itself. I approached quite a few of them, I explained I have nearly 20 years experience, but they laughed at my archaic methods. Nobody is hiring me :(


This is all very wrong, the society is unjust. I will set this all right, why should the educated/working/intelligent get to have all the fun? and women at that? I feel very inadequate when I even see girls overtaking me in cars/bikes while I am on my Atlas cycle that dad gifted(thank you papa)... I mean, I am the man here,not a well endowed one though, but a man nonetheless... how dare they overtake me? I will round up a lot of people(no cheap whiskey this time, I've learnt my lesson) and harass the free citizens. If I don't get to have, they can't either! I will call a press meeting and issue statements!


ps: I'm shitting bricks now, must have been that costly vodka... my brain only works on cheap whiskey... people will chase me like a mad dog now!! oh... why didn't you save me? yeah yeah, I know I know, I will come pray... you take phone calls? or atleast get some drug dealers around your place for fuck's sakes!!

youseddit

Seductress Kareena Kapoor agrees with Sameera. She says, “I believe that virginity is the most sacred thing for a woman. Even though everyone has his/her own take on it and it varies from person to person. Some choose to remain virgin till marriage while others feel the other way round. But, at the same time I do believe that it is not very important for a woman to remain a virgin anymore.”

Remain married only till the point of having sex?

Gyaan for the day

A go getter is one who has his stomach and pockets full, the rest are mere dreamers. When going gets tough, the rich get going... The tough scour for their bread!!

Happy Days?

Wish one could paint such a rosy picture of his/her Engineering college days, phantasmagoric!!




Long train of thoughts

Nobody is inherently evil. Circumstances; sight of petty short term gains is like juju! But you can only do so much as make efforts to look at life through the same peephole!

Brace up for the change, change is good they say. But having no reason to wake up bolt upright at 8 in the morning to make it in time for classes by 8.20 sort of change? Sure, you could shrug this off and treat the change akin to the change caused by a butterfly flapping it's wings in Brazil. But would you want to?

My gratitude towards that edifice on a hillock is only compounded as each day passes. Irrespective of just another VTU college or IIT, it's put a lot of perspective into my mind, molded me into who I am(or failed to become?). But I believe, even the mightiest of the forces have the humblest of the beginnings :)

I'm still a 12 year old stuck in a 21 year old's body. No matter how much money I make(if at all :P) I fervently hope, I can still let the lad out for a quick stroll and be that starry eyed kid... The last 4 years were like being in a warp gate. All my life I dreamed of being 18 and then... I dunno stay 18 for the rest of my life I suppose?!

And to all the friends I have made over the years, hope our paths cross... and frequently at that :)


ps: Don't ever bloody show me mindless movies and expect a sane blog... train of thoughts derailed, argh!!

High school is back?

Flashback: One fine morning/afternoon (I don't remember) back in fifth semester, me and my friend are puttering around in the campus. Suddenly he exclaims:

Him: "Hey you are on my team for the project, I'm telling you now itself... so, no bailing later!"

Me: "What project?"

Him: "8th semester, final year project"

I had not given a thought to this issue till then, but hey I felt that it's in the best interest of the both of us to be on the same team. It was a mutual feeling, only he had made an effort to put the proposal on the table at a very early stage.

Me: "Yeah alright, that sounds like a great idea!"


Little Fast-Forward: It's sixth semester now, a lot of self proclaimed punters have spawned all over the class. It's like playing fantasy football, "I'd like to have zidane, pele, maradona, carlos ... in my team, yes kaka is good he'll play for me!". Turns out some(many) punters have included my friend in their fantasy project teams.

A little analogy would help here. Forgive me for generalizing, suppose if there is a very desirable girl in your school/class, if some guy manages to get her it's a sense of accomplishment for the whole boy-kind. They'll be happy, they congratulate the guy, maybe crack open a beer(appletini actually :p) and say "Yeah mate, you finally tamed that chick!". Now imagine that the other way round, imagine being that girl. Who is the queen bee of the school, every girl would be at some point envious of her. This is exactly what has happened with the project. The very desirable player, is on everybody's list but nobody is getting him to play for their fantasy project teams.

All the girls run around in awry, flailing their arms around, crying foul and what not. The irony here is, these girls are mostly guys :(. They watch as we walk together from the corner of their eyes letting their imaginations run wild as to what we're conspiring. Suddenly, I am the villain who abducted the famous princess. Some wise crack thinks I brain washed the "most desirable player" and got him onto my team. So he latches onto us whenever we are alone trying to stop me from casting anymore spells from my vast arsenal of witchcraftery(OK that's not a real word :P).


Another one goes public announcing that her fantasy team has turned real, job done. So, the girls(read guys) are totally pissed off, they feel we conspired this without telling anyone. At least I should have kept them abreast of the happenings. Yeah right! Well, finally the truth gets out, everybody knows that the most valued player is on nobody's team and he is back on the market. And boy are the girls happy! They huddle together and jump and finally, get back to fantasizing :-p


Recent past: It's seventh semester now, not many developments except people trying to beat each other with bamboo sticks. Secrecy is the key here, try to get projects from contacts etc, you get the point. Sherlock Holmes/Holmesses of the class run secret investigations throwing questions at the members of the same group and check if their answers match. Set people on my chaff to siphon off answers, ah the list goes on.


Present: Sherlock Holmess creates a ruckus, for not getting the most valued player on his team, turns out somebody else has found his secret treasure trove as well. Holmess if baffled, at wit's end to find out how anybody could have ever found the place(how hard can it be, really?). Immediately targets the usual suspects because he is awefully wronged(missed your periods mate? fret not!)


It's been nearly a decade since I left high school. Seems like some people are still finding it hard to come to terms with this fact. Whining, moaning, bitching, crying doing everything we could possibly associate high school girls with. Well can't help but deal with a lot of guys who are still holding on to their favorite pleated skirts from high school...

The Born Ass-Kisser

Accept it, we find these irritating random critters all around us. And we find no reason to point out the error in their ways and start a needless feud. Well, that's precisely why we have blogs for, so I'll harangue away to glory... Some traits of a born ass kisser...

• Some soul is fortunate( you rich bastard) enough to have a lot of family money floating around. Or maybe, he got into the IT industry in it's nascent stages, so now he has enough wealth(or having a mid-life crisis) to flaunt around. So, he buys a superbike to massage his fat ego. But, I have huge respects for the fat balding bloke... even to the extent that I will volunteer my tongue as a replacement to his toilet paper just to be friends with him.
• Oh you go to track days is it? Guess what friend, I have been taking some classes, and I promise my felatios will be consistently better than your girlfriends' or wife's. Just let me be your friend, I don't have any aptitude or inclination to head to the track, but I just want to be on your side and sing(kiss your ass) your praises.
• Oh Schumacher is winning races, total fan. Rossi seems to be good too or so everybody claims, total fan. You said Chelsea is winning this time is it? yeah I've been a fan since my birth. French Open, I have no clue what's going on, but I have always kissed Federer's privates... Nadal won? OMG I so told you guys, you didn't believe me. Nadal is the best.
• Man you are a total god in CS, I am your bitch. Heh, you stopped playing CS? what about you my friend? Oh you have been playing, and you have got better, nice... Consider my application for the position of your bitch now.
• I see this guy is making some noises, IOMTT, whats that.. damn where's my google.. ah this guy's been winning, I've never known what this is, but I gotta make the right noises too... Yes Mr.x is a total legend and I have always been a fan of his..
• I have never watched any of these tv series, but I heard some nice things, Yes. They are demi-gods of the telly world, I have watched one episode of most of the series on the list.
• Man I took yet another fall, I am waiting to get new shoes for my bike. Oh you say these are good and really that "illustrated" list of people swear by them? Haven't I told you how much I've loved the grip on these tyres? In fact, I just finished making love to them in the valve tube.
  

WTF, lemme end.. you guys get the point..

Hell?

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Extreme

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test